


in this life and the next

by officialhaikyuu (kobayashimarryu)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Reincarnation AU, Unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 10:34:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2225877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kobayashimarryu/pseuds/officialhaikyuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>They met in every life, but often while those fleetingly minor interactions faded from memory, both were left with feelings of wrongness, of sudden inadequacy and loneliness despite their previous contentment with the swift wind life swept them along with.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	in this life and the next

**Author's Note:**

> yeah im back with another unedited levyaku fic because im a sucker for them and reincarnation aus. comments & kudos are much appreciated and feel free to point out any mistakes! thanks ~

_Everytime they met was like lightning. Through every life, the first look was electrifying, the first touch sending sparks. Every first knocked the wind from them both. Every first was unpredictable, quick, powerful, and left scorch marks on their hearts that wouldn't ever fade._

\--

i.

Their first life, Yaku was fourteen, a new student at school, smaller and more timid than the other boys. His braces were new too, making him trip and fumble with his words, were the reason he tripped and fumbled when the older boys found him alone at lunch time.

Their first life, Lev was sixteen, a slightly rebellious student at school, lanky and tall and stronger than the other boys. He was on monitoring duty as punishment for too many late homeworks. 

It was a good thing that he hadn't been late with his duties.

In this first life, Lev stepped between an upset Yaku and four bigger boys who now seemed much smaller than before. Lev offered Yaku a half-eaten chocolate bar, an easygoing apology and a sense of protection. Lev wiped the tears from Yaku's eyes with the sleeve of his blazer and when Yaku blinked away the remnants of excess tears, he thought that he'd never seen anything more radiant than the smile that graced Lev's lips. 

"You're safe, now."

\--

_They met in every life, though sometimes it was just a fraction of a second, eyes locking across a crowded train station before they were pulled apart again, other times perhaps brushing by each other when walking down an aisle in a library, both too immersed to look up._

\--

ii.

In the fifteenth life, Yaku was a trainee doctor, transferred to Japan from France for experience, still young despite the stress of day to day life. He'd thought that Japan was different, had struggled to adjust to his new life with new people, feeling alone.

In the fifteenth life, Lev had been late en route to a conference, paying too much attention to the high pitched worry of his secretary on the phone and not enough attention to the street. 

The car came skidding to a stop, but Lev had already been half broken on the ground.

Travelling between wards at the hospital, Yaku had passed by the commotion in the corridor, a tense and worried atmosphere, frantic words and instructions, hovering around a lanky business man's unconscious body as he was wheeled by Yaku, on his way to surgery.

He didn't make it, and for weeks after that Yaku awoke in a cold sweat, shivering at the after images of the dead man's peaceful face smeared with his own blood, body limp and crushed.

\--

_They met in every life, but often while those fleetingly minor interactions faded from memory, both were left with feelings of wrongness, of sudden inadequacy and loneliness despite their previous contentment with the swift wind life swept them along with._

\--

iii. "I have to go."

There was a life in which they met in a small cornershop, both on the edge of something as the country was on the edge of war, both reaching for the same last chocolate bar.

 _"You can have it,"_ Yaku had said, a small smile on his face despite knowing the possibility of finding this brand to be very low. _"Let us share it, instead,"_ came the reply from the tall boy, Lev, smile lighting up those vaguely familiar green eyes.

They shared many things in those few months before the war broke; kisses and sweets and smiles and memories. 

_"Care to share this dance with me?"_ The smile still shone through those green eyes, though tinted by the sadness, the lack of time, lack of possibilities. Last dance, last dinner, last night together. _"Of course."_

It was the last dance they ever shared.

\--

_Their unpredictable longing for something often left them searching without knowing they were looking for something, without knowing what it was they were looking for._

\--

iv. 

There was a life when they merely knew each other in a vague sense when, to Yaku, Lev Haiba was the neighbour three doors down in his apartment complex, pleasant, cute and slightly weird, but never at home frequently enough for the two to meet. He was in hospital often for some incomprehensible disease or two, his absence only noted weeks after his death when an older couple asked him about the previous tenant, speaking of how unfortunate it was that he had passed away so close to Christmas.

Yaku hadn't been able to enjoy Christmas for a few years after that.

\--

_It was unsettling, how powerful this need to search was, how insatiable this need was; they spent many lives searching without finding what they needed, wrestling with inexplicable urges and aches._

\--

v. "I'll always be here for you."

The words had been a source of comfort in many lives, in this one, until they weren't.

Childhood friends, growing to know each other over the years as they grew to knew equations and foreign words. Lev, lanky and smart and unnaturally tall, a new source of energy and vibrancy in Yaku's life one spring day when they were six and Yaku had been transferred to a new school in a new town. It had been terrifying.

They met first properly when Yaku had been awoken that night, Lev tapping against his bedroom window, perched precariously on tree branches that seemed a little too weak, face pressed almost right up against his window, green eyes brighter than the moonlight, seeming to twinkle like the stars with the excitement.

Wanting to avoid witnessing the strange boy fall, Yaku had opened his window instantly, grabbing an outstretched arm in lieu of an invitation, heart beating frantically every time there was even the smallest slip.

It was the first time Yaku ever kicked Lev in a rage. It wasn't the last time Lev used the tree between their two neighbouring homes, either. He didn't stop even after falling and breaking his leg. He offered no excuse for years, though when they started exchanging kisses and embarrassing words and blushes later on, he once proclaimed that he couldn't stop himself from wanting to see Yaku as often as he could.

 _I'll always be here for you_ became an unspoken rule in their relationship, and throughout their many years together it was as steadfast as the tree between their homes.

One day during a study session in Lev's messy bedroom, Yaku had forgotten his history notes, had promised to be back in less than a minute, climbing out Lev's window and onto the old tree branches he had eventually became accustomed to, ignoring the groaning and creaking of the wood.

 _I'll always be here for you_ applied until it couldn't be said by them both anymore. _Promises_ and _I'll always be here for you_ left a sour taste in Lev's mouth when he was looking down at a gravestone.

\--

_The searching lasted the remainder of their lives, every time, consuming their thoughts, creating desperation and despair where neither found a logical reason for it. However, each passing half-life always ended the same way, with a surge of renewed optimism, after often decades of hopelessness, in their last moments._

_There was always the next life to look forward to._

\--

vi. 

There were of course, those rare lives in which the two met, in which there were no fatal circumstances that drew them apart too quickly, no miscommunications or lack of luck that meant they passed by one another without knowing what they were missing.

There were lives when both met in a small changing room in a school's gym at a school in Tokyo, where both rallied with a volleyball, their words, their actions. Where half-joking insults lead to bruises but quiet words spoken under the summer night's sky led to featherlight kisses, a sense of belonging and security and rightness caressing them like the warm breeze.

There were lives when both knew each other for a long, long time. Lives when both shared firsts and lasts, together for so long that other lives didn't matter. 

There were lives when both dreamed big, and when those dreams were achieved, they could look at one another with all their hopes and aspirations in their eyes, thinking that they didn't believe in fate and destiny, but perhaps they could believe in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> honestly i don't even know


End file.
